my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
