it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
