the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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