He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
