I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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