at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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