if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
