Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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