We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
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