I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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