White coat. Heels.
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
