My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
