chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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