Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
