Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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