Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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