So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
