Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
