She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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