Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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