i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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