I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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