Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
