I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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