I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
