So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
