i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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