Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
