watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
