That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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