I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
