YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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