Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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