kristin has been a bad kristin
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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