his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
