Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
