everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
