you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
