Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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