Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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