the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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