shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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