Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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