if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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