the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
