Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
