WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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