i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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