I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
did you just send me my own nude
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
