I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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