I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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